German Dad Jokes

Are German dads funny? Maybe not. But that doesn't prevent them from cracking a joke or two. Really bad ones.


Let's go through some German dad jokes and see if you can understand them, as a beginner. The jokes in this blog post are what Germans usually call Flachwitze - which just means that they're really bad jokes. The English for Flachwitz would probably be something like dad joke.

But let's not waste any more precious time that could be spent on telling unfunny dad jokes! Ready? 👇

8 Bad German Dad Jokes Beginners Can Understand

Joke #1

Let's start with an easy one.

Warum trinken Mäuse keinen Alkohol? Sie haben Angst vor dem Kater.

Did you get it?

If you speak a little bit of German, you probably did understand that it says that mice do not drink alcohol, because they're afraid of the cat - but why should this make any sense?

Well, the joke plays with the word Kater, which usually means cat, but can also be used when you want to say that you are hungover after a night out: einen Kater haben.

Joke #2

If you thought that the first joke was already bad enough, we will have to disappoint you. This next one is also pretty bad:

Kundin im Laden: „Darf ich das Kleid im Schaufenster mal anprobieren?“ – Verkäufer: „Nein, bitte nur in der Umkleidekabine!“

This is an easy one, that beginners should also be able to understand. I don't think we'll have to explain this one - or do we?

Joke #3

Whenever my dad tells me a joke and it involves clowns I know that I need to brace myself for something really unfunny.

Was macht ein Clown im Büro? – Faxen

Like most of these jokes, this one too plays with the double meaning of a word. etw. faxen is a verb in German which means "to send a fax". But it's also used in the idiom Faxen machen, which means to fool around or make grimaces.

How funny is that? 🤡 We let you decide.

Joke #4

Now that you get the idea of most of these dad jokes, do you understand what two meanings the next joke plays with?

Have a look:

Wer schummelt im Dschungel? – Mogli

Mogli is obviously a reference to the main character of the jungle book. But what's the other meaning that makes this joke "hilarious" (according to my dad)?

We'll tell you: The German word mogeln means 'to cheat' (just the same as schummeln).

Joke #5

The next joke is a bit easier to understand, if you know that schwitzen means 'to sweat' and that the German dialect spoken in Switzerland is called Schweizerdeutsch or, in Swiss German, Schwizerdütsch.`

Welche Sprache spricht man in der Sauna? – Schwitzerdeutsch

By telling you beforehand what this joke is all about, I guess we kind of ruined the punchline for you? Oh well ...

Joke #6

Here comes a very easy German jokes, that even beginners can understand:

Wo wohnen Katzen? – Im Miezhaus

Das Mietshaus is the German word for an apartment building, with several flats that are rented out to different tenants.

The German word for 'pussycat' is die Miezekatze and the sound cats make is called miezen in German.

Incredible joke.

Joke #7

Was ergibt sieben mal sieben? Ganz ganz feinen Sand.

Joke #8

Ich habe eben beim Brötchen angerufen. War belegt.

Joke #9

Ich habe meiner Zimmerpflanze neulich angeboten, sie nur noch einmal pro Woche zu gießen. Sie ist darauf eingegangen.

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